The Wannabe Writer

Guns, that thing that every other modern nation seems to get but we ignorant Americans can’t.

The 2nd amendment is important, blah blah blah, there I said it so now I can talk about.

Why do Republicans love to change the definitions of words, Regulation doesn’t mean ban (Although don’t get me wrong I do want to ban certain guns). Regulation means rules, there are rules about what I can post on the blog doesn’t mean I can’t post anything nope it means that certain possibly dangerous things can’t be posted.

The I get the difference, liberals get the difference. Conservatives, well it depends. As a liberal I don’t paint with a board brush, I know conservatives who definitely wouldn’t mind some rules for gun purchasing, mainly because they’re both sane and don’t have a violent vendetta, so they could probably buy them with regulations. Also, this much ignorance is making them look bad.

What might be even sadder is conservative also agree with this. Right wingers may be ignorant on certain subjects and hypocritical on certain laws but they are not crazy, (all of them aren’t at least).

Conservatives just feel compelled for some reason to say the other side has a point and that people should be worried about regulations. If you ask me I think it a sign of great fear that you need to walk around with a lethal weapon on you at all times. (link) And their leader, (at least for now) honestly he’s talking about maybe making bumps stocks illegal but I don’t know the only consistent ideology with him is racism (bigotry in general) and himself. Everything else is “who spoke last?” “Who gave me the most praise?”

There are probably a few Democrats who think (and vote) in fact (link) because you know that tried and true corporatist strategy of they go low we back off and not fight back. Keep in might most of the country, 92% percent of Americans want tighter gun laws cause you know hearing about a school shooting and say “damn another one” is a bad thing. Yet the Dems don’t “consistently use that argument over and over again” or say that “Republican politicians don’t care about the slaughter of American citizens just the checks in their bank accounts”.

Speaking of the 92%, that 8% leftover most likely Psychopaths, Morons, Right-wing politicians, gun manufacturers and gun Lobbyists.

Psychopaths: Dangerous people who wouldn’t be able to buy or own guns if the laws were past and the news networks they watch (Fox News, Alex Jones, etc.)

Morons: People who have been taught that guns are weapons, but manly freedom sticks (link)

Right-wing politicians: They can afford protection and safe schools, and even after they were shot at they still said “no”. Yeah I know there are some southern dem who are democrats by name only

Gun manufacturers: the people who profit from the hire gun sales that occur after a shooting and would be hurt if their sales every went down. Seriously they want guns to be the new TV or Refridgerator

Gun Lobbyists: They’re paid to lie, they’re paid to bribe and they’d stop getting paid if people stopped getting shot

The only way things are going to change is either the demo sep up, start running candidates that can actually win and then remembering they have the voters on their side. Or the better but less likely option getting money out of politics, because until you do politician won’t care how many people die, just how much they’re paid. You wanna hurt a politician don’t aim for the head (fact and reason) or the heart (compassion and shame), you gotta hit’em in the wallet.

And so what if Adults helped kids create the rallies, not ever minor can drive, rent porta potties or pay for things. I mean older generations constantly complain when we sit around on our phones and youtube all day. So we come together and fight for what we believe in and now we’re uneducated children being manipulated by our parents

BTW the right wing is known for projection (when you doing some wrong and say the opposing side definitely does it) so how much you want to bet the right-wing has tried to manipulate the youth on its side.

In a culture where identity is everything not having one can make you feel as if you don’t even exist. Now this doesn’t mean I have to adhere to stereotypes I mean having labels are fine as long as you don’t exclude people. You can let someone with a different label into your world just don’t mistreat them because they might fit in or have room for another label. But I feel like I go through life without a label, any label at all, whenever I try to get myself one it just doesn’t feel right. It feels like I drift from group to group fad to fad constantly trying to find an image a design and identity that I can live with, I can make my own that I can model myself after yet I never fit. Yes labels are not important but it feels nice to have one that lets you know where to go or what to do when you’re feeling loss or alone with your thoughts. A direction, I don’t have that my mind says 1 thing, my reality says another my imagination’s often fricken in wonderland and I feel so torn. I don’t know where I’m going, what I am doing and really who I am. I am a 20 year old black man on the outside no a twenty yr old black shell because I couldn’t tell you what’s on the inside. Is it a vast rainbow ocean multiple things just waiting to get out into the world. Or is it just one thing that I’ve never been able to let myself see. Or is it just me, plain, simple average I don’t know. And until I find it, I won’t be satisfied.

I am a nerd, I am a fag, I am a geek I’m a hipster, I’m a follower, I am a creator, I’m a dreamer, I’m a lazy slob What? Who am I? Ive been on this world for 2 decades why don’t I know? As I keep moving to new places in my life I expect to find it expect to have it. Something I can feel, something I can see but I just don’t. I look in the mirror, I look at my selfies and aside from my face I don’t know what to call myself.

Like I said earlier I don’t want this ti bother me but it does. I hate not being able to say “this is what I am, this is where I’m going, this is what I’m doing I’m just this I’m just that I hate it I want something something real something I can be. And idenity that fits me like a glove that I can show share and (blank), Into the world I want my idenity

As I write this I think about taking its my mother letting her tell me it’s good or hoping that she said it’s good that I’ll be a writer that I’ll have a voice that this is my voice but I don’t know I can give it to her. I wanna post this everywhere and let the world say it’s great.

How I want it (it being my identity) to be given to me, I wanna wake up and know what it is. Maybe I do want someone just to tell me, what to do, who to be, how to act I don’t know.

One thing I do now this article needs an ending so that and it should probably be something to do with the identity message. I want to just put “who am I” that seem so generic. I try leaving on idenity but then something else comes up I think I just leave it with this.

This first day wasn’t all that memorable; couldn’t find my class, average first-day distractions, ate smash burger, ran to train home.
However, this second day has been an event.
Unlike yesterday where I was completely thrown off by the large campus, this time I was prepared. I’d previously found a map of the place on my phone and had a picture of my schedule. I pulled it up in the indoor waiting area of the station and headed out on to the campus. I figure out a path and where the building was and walked towards it since I knew where to walk. I figure I could just head towards the building with my music on and my phone in my pocket, but when I went for my gloves, I realized they weren’t there. Yep, left them at the train waiting area, after a lovely jog back in 30° I grabbed them and headed back.
I then had to navigate through an active parking lot, I say active cause I was constantly dodging cars, I was wearing my neon green, so I know they saw me. Between the parking lot, fence and highway I had to navigate around the actual building was a piece of cake.
When I got to class, I was 15 min late, and the only real seat was left in the back so that I couldn’t see well. There was enough space for my laptop for the first time, and the room (and most of the building) had a very modern feel to it. The content seemed exciting, but because my brain hates me, I could barely focus. I had what could only be described as an idea explosion. Plans to be more production, plans for my stories, ideas for other stories. I could barely hear the teacher. Honestly, I do know why I do it, but it’s not important now because literally as I was walking out if the room and down the hall. It was like a deflating balloon by the time I hit the lobby I couldn’t remember any plans. “sigh” Fortunately; I wrote them all down.

I’m heading towards the train 4:54 but and you have to understand, I’m new to the train and have only taken it a couple of times, this being the 3rd. I’m a creature of habit, for the past two days the train had come on time and been on the left side of the platform. However, this time things were different. Since the universe loves f’in with me, the train was on the right side and came 4 minutes early. I didn’t get on, and about 5 wind-chilled minutes later I realized the mistake. Since I had to wait 20 min. for the next train, I decided to wait in the cafe connected to the train station. It was called Rock n’ Joe, and for a good reason, the music they played was awesome. I Sound-Hounded all the songs and found them all on YouTube and am still playing them today. They also had a giant cookie which they heated up for me, nice. Course it could have just been good because I was cold.

I caught the next train and went home; this day was just one thing after another.

So I’m hanging out with Kevin, and he tells me to meet him at the gym at 9 pm, I now realize he meant 10 pm but told me 9 pm so my parents would let me come. Honestly, I think at least 40% of my time with Kevin is spent waiting for him to show up. I’m just glad I belong to this gym because let me tell you I’ve sat in the waiting area of planet fitness for 45 minutes for him to get me onto the floor. Fortunately, now I’m a member of L.A. fitness so I can just go and start without him. Unfortunately, something happened now that I knew would happen eventually but let myself forget.

What happens when Kevin takes so long that by the time he gets here I’ve finished working out? We’re supposed to work out together, and like I said early he said 9 pm but should have said 10 pm because that’s when he showed up. I, on the other hand, arrived at 9:12 and spent 45 minutes training, which for me is maximum time. So I’m done and sore, and he’s like “yo bro just give me, like 20 minutes to warm up and work”. Friends right. Honestly, if it was for the fact that Kevin spent the last two years becoming a muscle hunk, I’d of stopped trying to hang with him. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m not gonna burn through my legs waiting for him. However, basic instinct tells me not to mess with his work out, so yeah.

Here’s hoping he’s done (fingers crossed)

So lately I’ve been trying to figure out my life path and to be honest, I’m all over the place like
Sometimes I want to be a singer/dancer
other times it’s a politician
Then a talk show host
And the original idea screenwriter
So, considering how all over the place these careers are it’s obvious I need to pick one, right? I mean some people or could be all four, but I think I’m not one of them. I mean each has potential and would include something I enjoy.
Singer/Dancer: I love music, it’s my life plus I have written songs before. My entire life when I heard music I would always work it into a music video or story.
My future fantasies around this career usually arise whenever I watch an awards show and see the singer performing on stage, I just wish I could do the same. Of course, I’d be I control of how the performance goes. I’ve seen how the world idolized celebrities and values their opinion which is something I crave. However, I don’t know if I can sing well, I’ve only ever received positive feedback on my voice twice. Once from my friends in 7th grade and twice when I was in the High-school senior year by my friend. Whenever I post myself singing one Instagram, I say “my singing with my average voice. As for dancing well, I’ve only ever danced in my basement, by myself, yeah. However, I have been improving building up endurance as dancing is easier than cardio, and have successfully mimicked the dip and some of the dances from the “Chilin like a Villain” Music video as well as G.R.L. Vacation. I love dancing and would love to make a career out of it and improve although I don’t even know if can. I’ve come up with multiple songs, however, their mostly lyrics of choruses.
Although I might just want this career for the fame and the ability to show up to people of my past. A common scenario that often comes to mind when I’m fantasizing about being a singer is my senior project. The senior project fantasy is from my high-school, see seniors had to create or present a project of their choosing for their senior project. Now, in reality, I did a PowerPoint on why Community college is the better and 4 yr. which got me an A, so I’m not mad about it. However, in the fantasy, I say “this is a music video I created for a song I wrote” then play a video. The class (whom I don’t even remember most of, to be honest) is at first surprised “Amari making a music video singing and dancing, insane.” When I played the video, it’s never a song I wrote, it’s whatever I’m listening to on my phone usually, and the video that’s shown is often taking place in my high school, my house and on rare occasions my New-York spots. The boy band I came up with is in a few of them the point is as well as the four people group I came up with for the siren song TV shown, both groups with me as the black guy. It blows the class away cause my dancing on point and the songs catchy, and there is a fantasy within the fantasies where I and someone else (either a duet or group) interrupt the lunchroom to use it as a setting for a scene where we dance in a big room in front of a crowd.
I envy the kids on Disney and Nickelodeon even though I know it’s no were near as fun as it seems. Could I handle the actually work, the traveling, the stress of not being sure is this song would be as popular as the last one? Honestly, I’m young, and it’s something I’d love to do, but only a hand number of people in my life even know about this dream of mine, because I really embarrassed about it. I wonder if I’m as good a performer in real-life as I am in my head. There are few songs I listen to that don’t have me pictures myself as the artist, however the music video is always different. To be honest aside from posting a random video online I wouldn’t know where to start.

She past week I have just been in a lousy mood, and you know why? Well, it’s because my mother is so annoying that’s why. No, scratch that annoying isn’t the right word, no witch is more horrible you know why because witches are evil (traditionally) and enjoy making people’s life’s challenging, and she enjoys making my life difficult. Honestly, I thought I was at a point in my life where this was in the past, but I was wrong because honestly this whole week she has been on my cases actually she start on Wednesday or Tuesday.
See I’ve been helping my friend lately with his school work, so when I asked her to go to Kevin’s house to help with the assignment, was the response to that “what a nice thing you’re doing helping your friend.” Or how about “I hope you can do it.” No, it wouldn’t be anything that nice no, no, no, she said “You know at least he’s working, he‘s trying to make something of his life you’re just going through the motion for major to major. You know you can’t be a professional college student.” And no she was not joking because she was yelling. Mommy dearest then decided to list all of my failures and problems and throw them in my face, just evil. The accounting classes and the computer coding classes, it’s not my fault that she decided that I needed a for me to try out for a business major. I look and how to find something and However it doesn’t work, and she would never admit to something that I’ve tried didn’t work for me. After all, she knows everything even though she’s never taken a business class or coding class and wouldn’t know anything about it. I know I can’t major in writing because I need a source of income, but finding a replacement is hard. Then she mentioned the blog, it’s not my fault nothings been happening in my world to write about, plus I didn’t even want this blog because I have no life to blog.
Furthermore, her pointing out something that I already knew about and think about daily got me really upset. Which is a mistake in my household because if she gets mad, she’ll yell at you for an hour but don’t you even let her think you’re upset with something she’s done. Otherwise his you’re being unhung grateful brat or monster. Even after I yelled and mellowed out things were clearly unpleasant but still I want an out with the family anyway cuz I said I was going to. Apparently (according to her), I have been spending a lot of time lately with the family but let’s check that. Let’s see, I go with Dad to get lunch, I always ask my Lil bro if he wants to hang out with me and Ce-Ce can’t leave the house so who’s left in the family that would make me want to avoid a family outing?
Anyway, I go on the family outing, and we’re in the car. Now she’s about to get out of the car, and I’m leaning over the arm rest in the center. Now, just to be a thorn in my side she decides to tell me to move over, cause I’m taking up space. Keep in mind she’s in the front, and Lil bro (whose side I’m leaning on) is about to get out of the car. So, there is 0 reason to do this other than to annoy me, and despite that I still do it. However, as I said early in my house it’s a crime to show unhappiness for the queen’s orders, so as I do what she asks I say here “I’ll do the thing, for the woman who was about to leave the car anyway and doesn’t sit back here.” Well her eyes got real big, and she was like “yeah, oh, oh, how dare he? Who is this child?” Cause I forgot how much of a problem she has when someone points out that she’s being annoying to her, well that’s not fair more of a nuisance really.
I found out the next day from dad, so it seemed like the same decision even though he said after the mother left the car “it was unnecessary, but still you shouldn’t have done it.” So no driving until they say so, and the worst part is instead of giving me the day or a date so I can make plans around it instead they said I can drive when I learn to watch my mouth. So basically the one happy part of my life, getting to drive freely around is now gone and will come back at random, great. Knowing mom, she’ll probably wait until something significant that I’ve been waiting for comes along and then give it back a week after that. Seriously the two weeks off I get to hang out with the Kevin and go places, she ruins everything.
Then today, just when I think I’m making some progress, just when I think things are going great she gets on my nerves again. I’m home minding my own business just sitting in the basement enjoying the afternoon. So she comes downstairs and says “Amari, why don’t you come up the entire families outside cleaning the car” like it’s a group activity. First of all, we’re taking the junk out of your car trunk that’s filled cuz you’re a pack rat, mother. Second, because I’m not going to help them because it’s outside in the middle of the summer which is something I don’t like to do. I don’t like sweat, I don’t like bugs, I don’t like the sun, and she knows these things. But she brought up how her kids mean being antisocial, so she makes me go out and do it. Dad didn’t see how it was necessary, and he didn’t need me for it, but I do what little he needed then went back inside.
I come back inside and I in a lousy mood because I’m was fighting off mosquitoes and sweaty like a pig. So, get what she says to me “Why are you so angry towards me?” and I say “because you’re the reason I had to go outside and do all this stuff I didn’t want to do.” And then you know what she said “but Amari you should do it because you should want to” I’m sorry I should want to do stuff I dislike a no that’s not how people work. Just because Mommy dearest wants something doesn’t mean everyone is automatically on board. Daddy is no help either after 20 years of marriage whenever my mom gets angry and starts yelling just to ignore it and let her talk to you how she wants. Yeah, sure I’ll be like him and just bottle up all my problems and let them roll off my back, No. I’m not going to be surprised if he just eventually goes off on her one day because she regularly just yells at him.
You know I try to be a nice and I’m easily in the only family to ask her how her day went or if she needs anything. Until I get my car driving privileges back, she doesn’t have anyone asking how she is or if she needs anything nope not anymore. That witch can help herself.

Context: My buddy needed my help yesterday with his psychology or philosophy summaries (Honestly, I don’t know the difference (or care)). So, since I’m a nice guy and would have just spent Yesterday afternoon and evening goofing off and watching TV. I decided to do it for him, he had like 3 other projects to take care of. There was also another reason see I’m not the best at writing non-fiction on the spot, and as much as I hate to admit it, I should be able to write up a decent summary of an article. I had to read two different articles (and by reading I mean skim and look at the abstract summaries) and I think I did a pretty good job. It felt like a waste to write these things up and then just forget about them, plus Kevin doesn’t know about this blog, so I figure I’d post’em. There both basically about poor communities and children, so if you’re into that or have 10 minutes to kill, give ‘em a look.

Doll Beth’s article on the real promises and cautions of resilience models in schools, highlighted the data found after studying the effects of said models on elementary schools in poor communities. The data gathered showed that when children are surrounded by positive role models and people who show resilience they should have more enthusiasm towards success. The models assisted the children with programs that enhanced their social engagement, drive, and self-efficacy. As well as provided youths with caring mentors and authority figures who projected success and took full advantage of their opportunities prosper despite being faced with similar misfortunes and hardships. However, while these resilience models did prove effective in these elementary schools, they should not be used as a rank or test to predict the chance of student success. Certain children did respond well to the resilience models, but the ones that did not shouldn’t be seen as lost causes as their intelligence may not be the sole factor in their failure. Considering that these children were living in poor communities, it is not impossible that personal problems played a role in their behavior and work ethic. Things such as lack of nutrition, parental stress or community violence can definitely alter a child’s productivity levels in the class. Speak from personal experience, that despite being surrounded by positive role models and friends in high-school, I was still a lousy student due to “personal issues.” In conclusion, while resilience models did have positive effects on the 3rd, 4th and 5th graders the data gathered should still be taken with a grain of salt as they do not show all of the issues a student can be dealing with.

Doll, Beth, et al. “The Promise and the Caution of Resilience Models for Schools.” Psychology in the Schools, vol. 48, no. 7, Aug. 2011, pp. 652-659. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1002/pits.20588.

In Gary W. Evans article “The Environment of Childhood Poverty” he discusses at length a well-known fact that one of the most toxic environments for children to grow up in is poverty. In fact, in the first paragraph, on the first page, the article states that “Psychologists are aware of the multiple disadvantages accompanying low income in America.” While this mainly affects minorities such as African Americans, Hispanics and Native Americans in urban areas it also affects Caucasians (and minorities) in rural communities. While everyone deserves a chance to shine, children born into poverty are often doomed from the start. They are forced from childhood to avoid and overcome challenges such as drugs, crime and almost all types of violence. On top of that, unlike wealthier or even middle-class parents who can afford to take time off and focus on their children, poor parents often have to work around the clock for little pay. This means that children of poverty are usually ignored, mal-nourished or even abused by their parents.
Many countries across the world have put in place government programs to help and assist these poor people. However, due to lack of funding and at times lack of interest government programs do not satisfy the needs or requirements to minimize poverty. For many youths across the nation and planet education and scholarships are the only way out of poverty and gang life. However, through no fault of their own, if a young person is fortunate enough to make it into college, the stress, workload, and hardships alone can suffice to push them back into old dangerous and self-destructive habits. This is why almost every man, woman or child who make it out of poverty and into a life a success or luxury is considered an incredible success story; they are beating literally impossible odds.

I’m a superhero, or to be more precise a super-power fan there are few stories I’m working on that doesn’t in some way involve the main character having powers. I recently just fished bingeing Ultimate Spiderman (Disney XD cartoon), and I loved it. I’ve always been a big Spiderman fan (cartoons), I watched Spectacular Spiderman, Spiderman the animated series from 1994 and watched they’re of his video games. Although after watching him for a couple of years, I feel like Spiderman at least in my opinion has had the same powers for like ever. So I thought about giving him some new ones, I’ll be honest they got kind of bizarre. First, I figured giving him the ability to shoot webs on his own would work because while the web-shooters do show him genius-side it’s kinda weird he can’t just make his own. I mean, take away the web shooters, and he’s basically just a man with the powers of any bug.
Then I started thinking about what if Spiderman was exposed to more radiation and gained even more spiderlike powers. For example, claws/talons, he could sprout and retract from his fingers and fangs, after all, spiders have fangs, why doesn’t he? What if he could suck blood from people? (criminals) After all, spiders do drink the blood of other insects, shame they’re so creepy looking. After I had that idea I start comparing him to the Mosquito Girl from One Punch man, she could control mosquitos and would send them out to collect blood. She would actually get stronger and more powerful the more blood she drank. However, applying that to Spiderman gave him a vampire-like vibe a which I’m honestly not sure works for him. Not to mention if the spiders did collect blood for him how would he retrieve it? Spiders in his mouth, gross, no thanks the blood angle was strange enough. I mean he’s supposed to be a hero, not a weirdo, well, weirder. Plus he isn’t just Spiderman he’s Peter Parker to so how would fangs work if Peter Parker’s supposed to look human when he’s not Spiderman. So, then I thought, what if he could turn his powers on and off, that would make the fangs and claws retractable. Finally, I thought about making his webs could paralyze people since spider-webs (at least some) can paralyze bugs that are caught in them, I thought that would be a cool upgrade to add.
Although the more that I think about it, Spiderman doesn’t exactly need new powers since he’s weirdly OP now. The other day, I was watching Ultimate Spider-man he took down 3 villains in a row, but during the fight, Spiderman was rocking some mad plot armor in that battle. It started with like a 3 on three fight between Him, Ironman and Hulk vs. Kraven, Molten Man and the Wendigo King. Kraven and Molten man are both Spider-man villains, but Wendigo King is a hulk villain (at least in that universe he is). Plus, he didn’t actually defeat Wendigo King and Molten man, he outsmarted them. First, he trapped Wendigo King in a net and teased him, not him one of his powers it was a weapon attached to his web shooters. And, when he “beat” Molten Man he just tricked him into standing on a dock for too long until he burned through and fell into the water. Maybe I’ve been watching too much anime, but that just seems like plot armor to me (a term I hope I’m using right). In conclusion (was just going to say “Anyway” but I say that too much) if I have to the chance to upgrade Spiderman even for an episode those are the improvements I’d give him. Claws, Real webs that Paralyze anyone they touch, fangs and possibly the ability to drink blood. Little weird but that’s my idea.

So Tuesday, was a weird day, it was one of those days that just makes you hate people. To be specific, people who aren’t you. I know that sounds weird, but that’s the best way to describe it. It was during my morning run, see ever since (I guess) last year I’ve been trying to lose weight, more specifically loss ma-gut, ma-spare tire, ma belly pouch. And after hearing from Alpha M (a YouTube personality who does videos on grooming, style, and fitness) that morning cardio before breakfast is the best way to burn up and use fat. I figured I should give it a try, and I got some pretty good results last summer I lost around 8 to 7 pounds. Unfortunately, Autumn and Winter came, and school started back up, so I didn’t have time to run as much. Also, my fitness friend Kevin told me that it was “bulking season” and that it was ok to eat more and that I should stop dieting and cardio. He said I should put my attention toward strength training, which was stupid on my part. Yes, in the past year Kevin has turned himself from a scrawny Stoner into an average guy on MTV (which is hunky in real-life), so he does know stuff about fitness. However, Kevin has something that I don’t, that something is actually muscles. Not to mention Kevin workout at a gym for hours almost daily because it’s how he deals with anger. I, on the other hand, don’t, I do dance cardio ever morning and have so little muscle mass I can barely do a pull-up. So yeah, I gained the weight back and had been trying to lose it again ever since school ended. So that’s why I was running yesterday morning.
So normally my runs are very isolated I mean there are other people in the neighborhood but I never really talk to them or see somebody I know. So normally when I run it’s mostly just me and my thoughts. Actually, it’s just me and my music video ideas (Which is how I like it), but come Tuesday, aw man, that changed. It started out fine, I ran the first block/lap and got my water. Then I started the second one and ran into this random rude old woman who said: “you’re just a jerk aren’t you.” Well actually I didn’t hear her the 1st time (headphones), but that’s what she said when I pulled them out, I asked: “why” and then she said, “you just run in front of dogs” (she had one). At first, I didn’t realize what she was talking about that was until I remember that I’d seen her on the 1st block/lap on the sidewalk. She was just walking with a sour look on her face, so naturally, I left the sidewalk, end of the story, or so I thought. I (not sure what to say) just blurted “Wow, someone woke up in a lousy/bad mood today” while doing that run-in-place hop runners do. She said something else, I’ll never know what though because I’d put my headphones back, but I did respond “HAVE A GREAT DAY, MADAM” cheerfully in some accent, maybe French, I don’t know. I then took off and thought I was done with her. Again, I was wrong. When I ran around the next block, I ran into her again, however this time I’d prepared my words. (Didn’t think of much else during the 2nd lap). I had to run by her again to head home, and I wasn’t about to redirect my route in fear of some random old lady. Although considering she had a medium sized dog with her that she could sic on me, probably should have steered clear. Oh well. She said, “Well you’re not just a jerk, you’re an ass,” since she wasn’t going to keep things PG, neither was I. I responded “Well you know what I’m sorry for bothering you, why don’t I just move to a different neighborhood. That way I won’t have to bother you or your bitch anymore” “he a boy, idiot” she snapped back. I responded, “I know, I was talking to the dog” Which just stunned her allowing me the run away with my head held high, I even made it back uphill to my house without having to slow down, walk or breathe.
If I had to make an estimated guess she was probably just cranky or pissed off at something, I don’t know how old people are. Maybe it was race related, perhaps not, I’ll honestly never know. She could have actually thought I was trying to mess with her dog (as if), which now that I say it (type it) is probably exactly what happened. While I know this isn’t true, a small part of me likes to think (even though it’s unlikely), She’s just an old person whose jealous of my youth. I mean I have a fresh-ish life that is just starting (I hope) while she only had a few years left of hers. Oh, that’s kinda mean and a little ageist so I guess I should hope that’s not the reason, but it made me feel good though (the young life starting part). I shouldn’t be thinking that way toward someone I don’t really know, but that encounter just totally derailed my train of thought for the rest of the run and for like an hour after. Even though I probably got the last word, I still spent the rest of the jog just thinking, “Oh if I see her again, I’ll say…” or “I should have said…. yeah that would have gotten her”. Had some pretty good ones but I don’t really remember any of them now, probably shows how insignificant the encounter was considering it happened yesterday. I even listened to clap back songs on the run I wasn’t even planning on, like “Go screw yourself” by Avery, “I really don’t care” By Demi and Cher Lloyd and “No Frauds” by Nicki Minaj. I also listen to “Romans Revenge” not exactly a clap back song but it has some pretty sick disses, and after hearing Nicki it was in my suggestions.
Honestly, it was such a weird encounter but what might have been weirder was the reaction I got from my mother. I told her about it later, I left out the second encounter since I doubt she’d be ok with me saying the word “bitch” let alone calling someone that. She said “You should have just ignored her. She could have called the police and said some black man was harassing her” which I guess makes sense and could have happened, but she didn’t have to rain on my parade like that. And remember this is without the second encounter. Geez. Ah well, it’s in the past now, and as I keep saying (to myself mostly), I doubt I’ll ever see her again, and to be honest, I hope I don’t.